Back in the day a bunch of dudes said, “We’re getting taxed to death by the Man and what do we have to show for it? Nada, zip, zilch. And when we complain he sics his goons on us. Nuts to that.” They got their squirrel guns off the mantle and showed them what time it was. 200 years and some ‘change’ later and we have a government that wants to tax us to death and doesn’t listen to the common…never mind.

To celebrate our forefathers the NASA SouthEast road show had a one day race blowout at Lowe’s MotorSpeedway. The Lowe’s MotorSpeedway - you may have seen it on TV. We’ve done the oval thing before at Rockingham, which was fun until we almost got kicked out and subsequently banned. Comparing the Rock to this place is like comparing a Denny’s to a four star restaurant. It is MASSIVE, it has two go kart tracks inside of it, a dirt track outside of it, along with a drag strip and a huge RV dealership. The best part of going to the ovals, in my mind, is the sweet garages we get to rent / use. The one day event meant it was going to be jam packed with action. I had some routine maintenance to do to the car and since Craig has reclaimed his garage lift I had to roll old school with jack stands.

My extra small, crowded, and awkwardly positioned garage space, coupled with jack stands, and the 99+ degree heat made me dread this even though all I really had to do was replace some fluids (oil, etc) and change the brakes. Stuff I’ve done approximately 1000 times, that should take around 2 hours to complete, ideally. Unfortunately that 2 hours doesn’t include the 2 hours it took me to just unpack my garage enough to let me get to the car in order to jack it up. With that accomplished I remembered why working on jack stands sucks. Everything is harder to get to, and if you forget a tool it takes 5 min. to find it and get back to the position you were in when you realized you needed it. Not to mention the constant risk of hitting your head, or the fun of lying in a puddle of whatever it is you just drained out of the car. It took me two days to finish, but I triumphed in the end and only lost about 10 pounds of water weight in the process. My advice as usual is to pay someone to do this stuff for you.

[Speaking of hitting your head. Two episodes stand out in my mind. The first is pretty common I was concentrating on something under the car and my cell phone rang on the “workbench” that is really my trash barrel. I popped up and WHACK. But the worst, if you own a Bentley or Haynes auto mechanic DIY manual, the first step in any of their instructions is ‘disconnect the battery’. I was removing my power steering hoses and pump which are perilously close to the starter. Of course I didn’t disconnect the battery, inadvertently I touched the starter with an open end wrench which kicked off a massive spark and promptly scared the sh!t out of me. I popped up and WHACK. I was pretty sure I removed scalp with that one, but I guess my head is harder than I thought. Left a nice bump and saw some stars though which was cool. I climbed out from under the car and disconnected the battery…]

The Lowe’s folks apparently don’t value our business too much since they opened the gate from 4pm to 5:30pm. Now to get a car there so that you can finish your registration and unpack everything so that you’re ready to go at 8am the next day is a bit of a trick. Craig and I took about 6 hours to get to Charlotte,which should be a 4 hour trip. I can safely state that North Carolina has the ABSOLUTE worst drivers. Now you’re probably dismissing this as mere hyperbole. Examples – more people in the left lane doing below the speed limit but refusing to clear the lane than I can count, a man in a Cadillac on a busy two lane highway on a blown out donut tire not stopping but proceeding to drive along as if nothing was wrong, another dude that came to a complete stop in the middle of an intersection (in the middle of 3 lanes) with his turn signal on only to proceed to go straight once the light turned yellow stranding everyone behind him. It was so bad that Craig and I almost kissed the ground when we got to Lowe’s. Towing is a close second in sucky aspects of racing, right behind car maintenance, at least in my mind.


Threading the needle from the banking into the infield. If you hit that wall on the right (or left) you win a trip to the hospital and maybe a helicopter ride!!

Having gotten to the track in one piece we began the cannonball run of unloading, getting paperwork signed, etc. Craig didn’t have the foresight to rent a sweet garage so he was stuck out in the sun with the rest of the ill prepared. I think that was his punishment for not allowing my car on his lift. Since I’m a generous guy and you can squeeze two cars into a spot I let him park behind so he wouldn’t have to roast in the parking lot. We then did our obligatory race dinner at the local strip mall Mexican restaurant where the Rev. Al Taylor Esq. entertained us with his usual adventures in hoboism, and Brian Jones showed us his malformed elbow and attempted to buy liquor for high school girls. We retired for the evening at the luxurious (for track accommodations) Embassy Suites. It seems that when there isn’t a race going on Concord, NC has a lot of extra hotel space they aren’t afraid to let go cheap. Dave White rolled in around 11 with a night offering of 24 oz. PBR Tallboys. Not really the nightcap I needed since we had to be up at 5:30 ish to make our driver’s meeting and free breakfast.

[These are the things that actually make racing fun for me. I could sit around a table and listen to these characters BS and tell lies for hours at a time. Honestly, Al should have a spoken word album or something. I can attempt to describe him but it doesn’t scratch the surface of what he is like in person.]

Al was the only one of our crowd that had actually driven at Lowe’s before, and he was determined to make the most of it. He had a ‘new’ motor (as in used low mileage), a new paint job, and an Al first - NEW tires. No one had ever seen Al run new tires. He was clearly gunning for a strong finish. We lined up for practice and got ready to do a few yellow ‘orientation’ laps. The banking and NASCAR portions of the track are pretty straightforward, the infield road section not so much. It is like a parking lot with some stripes on it ‘suggesting’ the course. Once we did a few laps it all became clear, and actually was surprisingly tricky, much more so than what we had at Rockingham. I was right in front of Al as we pulled out but I let him go by after the yellow laps so I could follow and learn any of his tricks. As we got on the banking doing about 110+ I’m firmly attached to Al’s bumper and suddenly my windshield is filled with brown liquid. I immediately think Al’s car has blown up and I’ll soon be spinning into a wall. After that initial reaction I realize I’m not spinning but I can’t see. Reluctant to hit the windshield wipers since if it is oil it will just smear it around and make it harder to see, I’m left with no choice. Hmm, it just appears to be brownish water. Well with Al this could be anything from catastrophic failure to some type of amateurish smoke screen device or worse since he literally had to wet his suit and seat in a Lemons race after being in the car for apprx 15 mins... I go around him and continue to learn the track. As we’re pulling in I see Al and some corner worker dude pushing his car back towards the garages.

Racing is a cruel mistress and she had chosen Al and his big dreams to crush this time. He smelled rubber and thinking it was one of his new tires rubbing body work he didn’t slow down. Turns out it was a belt that came apart leading to a coolant hose exploding. Since he kept running a lap longer than he should of the engine effectively melted itself together. This would suck for anyone, but its extra suckage for Al, since he drives his car to and from the event. Thankfully he was able to get former SE30 driver Travis Wilson to come and grab him with his truck and trailer. Travis retired from racing on the Craig Geegar scholarship for nannies in training. He talked a big game about his impending return to the grid, we’ll see…. JP Coates also made a heroic appearance apparently taking a ‘long lunch’ from work to visit.


Travis coming to the rescue - cue Sanford and Son theme..

Qualifying was eventful, I started in first place but fell asleep at the switch and Johan Schwartz jumped in front. Content to follow him for a bit he had a 944 (or miata I forget some h0m0 car) hit and spin him out I was forced to mow the Lowe’s lawn to avoid hitting him in the driver’s door. With that out of the way and my toughest competition wrecked, I figured to start from pole. I came in a lap or two early and Robert Patton using Craig’s draft was able to nip me by a few tenths of a second. Getting a timing sheet when you think you’ll be on pole and finding you’re not is like opening a xmas present you “know” is exactly what you wanted and finding out its socks instead.

Starting in second was good enough, I had a rare poor start and Geegar mustering his every ounce of mojo (and probably cheating the start) pulled past 4 cars to wind up in 1st place. Another spinning 944 in the very narrow and very scary entry to turn 1 that bumped / hit me and then I bumped / hit Patton slowed us down further. Johan came screaming up from the back of the pack and got by, I settled down to closing the gap and getting back lost positions. Following Johan we caught back up to Craig who was clearly in “I’m in first place cruising mode”. He saw us coming and tried to get back on his game, but that allowed us to get in tight and using the draft I bumped Johan past and hoped to follow. I couldn’t make it happen that lap but eventually got around Craig and kept chasing Johan. We had a thunder roadster get in front of us and he balked Johan in the banking on the final lap. I kept my foot in it and we had a legit photo finish as we both split the roadster to cross the line. Johan ended up winning by like .003 seconds. But it was a great race and lots of fun. I awarded myself first place amateur division. With Skeen and now with Johan we’re facing guys that a) do some type of motorsports for a living and b) have tons of kart experience. You know the guys that race F1, they all raced go-karts since they could reach pedals. Johan FREAKING owns a karting company called EnduranceKarting.com , it actually looks pretty cool, one of these days I’ll get around to trying it out. I’m a once a month guy like the National Guard, these guys are like Navy Seals training day in and day out. Not really apples to apples.


WHAT a 944 spinning out, no way!

The second race used our finishing position so it was Johan, Me, Craig. I changed tires and managed to screw up a car that had been working well for me. Johan just drove away after the start and I struggled to keep up and keep Craig behind me. Craig was content to sit back and bump me on the NASCAR portions so that we could both make time. This was pretty cool, but once Craig caught me with the wheels a little cocked coming out of the banking at probably close to 125-130 mph. He smacked me and the back end started to wiggle back and forth while I closed my eyes and silently cried. When I opened them back up I was – due to my remarkable car control – still in a straight line but a little frazzled. Eventually Craig got by and I tried to get my heart rate back down to 200 bpm and stay close to make a move. Traffic intervened and it wasn’t to be so I had to settle for a lackluster – but safe and sound – 3rd place.


Too much bump drafting.

Dave White woke up around noon and came for lunch and our enduro race. Since it was only 1hr 30min. we didn’t plan on doing a driver change. He would go from start to finish. There was a small field but Dave did what he does and knocked out quick laps. We took the victory, keeping us solidly in 1st place overall for the SE enduro championship and the E2 class lead.

For some reason every 4th of July we run the Peachtree Road Race. This is a 10k foot race that I believe might be one of the largest in the country. I always comment on what a bad idea this is since neither Christine nor our friends, the Garretts, are what you’d call “avid runners”. In fact I avidly avoid running, since I hate it. It was an even worse idea after doing physical labor, racing all day, and getting home late at night after driving back from Charlotte. As far as I can determine we do it so we can go out for breakfast at the Waffle House afterwards, but as I’ve also mentioned a few times before I don’t really need to run 6.2 miles to eat waffles. I’ve tried training for it and I run it in around 1 hour and 10 mins. I’ve tried not training for it and I run it in like an 1 hour and 15 mins. I went with the ‘no training’ efficient route this time and knocked out my 1 hour and 15 min pace. I look at this like a mini cardiac stress test. If I can run 6 miles in the heat with no practice and not wake up in a hospital or die I must be healthy. Mission accomplished. We mixed it up this year and went to the Original House of Pancakes where I had an Apple Baby the size of a dinner plate. Mmmmm.

I then celebrated by unpacking the truck and trailer and taking a nap like an old person.

Happy Birthday America!

FYI thanks to the internet I can steal all these photos from other sites since I'm too lazy to shoot video or take pictures myself. If I use one, thanks in advance if you want I'll buy you a soda or something.

Labels: Lowes, NASCAR, Pics, Race Recap, Rockingham